Saturday, November 24, 2012

The end

This past week marks the end of my breastfeeding journey. I would be lying if I said I wasn't really sad. It took a LOT of work and dedication and I'm proud of myself for making it as far as I did, from pumping 8 times a day for months to getting Cameron to latch after months of bottle feeding. But we did it and I'm sure glad we did. We made it almost 14 months. I sincerely cherished all the time I spent nursing Cameron and she enjoyed it immensely judging by the fact that she refused any type of bottle no matter what once I started nursing. I struggled a lot when I knew I was nursing her for the last time. It was just such a special bond between us that I thought would not be possible given our circumstances. I'm sad because we no longer have that bond, I'm sad because it means she's growing up, and I'm sad because it means she doesn't really need me like she used to. Most of all though I'm sad because I took something away from her that she wasn't ready to give up. The first couple of days she would cry for me to nurse her and I couldn't because I had dried up and had nothing to offer her. It broke my heart to deny her that comfort. I have been giving her a lot of extra cuddles and snuggles to hopefully make up for that void.

I will say I've learned that Cameron is quite the willful baby. She decided once I stopped nursing her that she was going to refuse all liquids from any other source. She would not take a sippy cup, bottle, straw cup, regular cup, nothing. I could not get fluids in her. She went days without drinking so I had to give her lots of applesauce and yogurt to keep her from getting dehydrated. I was stressed to say the least. She seems to have somewhat given up her fluid strike. She is taking a sippy again although she's still not drinking too terribly much but something is much better than nothing.

Other than that, Cameron is 14 months old today! I can no longer say "she just turned a year old". She is getting older all the time and it's so exciting to watch her learn and grow. I can't wait to see what she has in store for us next :)

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